Computer Snooping

I have been reading a lot about the computer-snooping issue going on in Lower Merion. The school was using a technology that was inappropriate for the use they supposedly intended. It is my opinion, shared by others that the school fully meant to catch students committing crimes and tried to pass it off as anti-theft. As a comment posted to one article stated on NPR, a simple, inexpensive GPS unit installed in the laptops would have been able to locate a stolen computer if needed. There is no question in my mind that the school was attempting to pry into the student's private lives in a misguided effort to thwart criminal behavior.


That being said, the real issue here is the line where a student's school lives cross over into their private lives. I remember a situation when my son was in the 5th grade and was admonished for putting something on his MySpace page. He made some reference to illegal activities and it was found by the school and he was disciplined for it. Needless to say he was incensed that the school would interfere with his personal life. His feeling was that he was not in school, it was not the school’s page, and he was not using school property to post that missive. He felt that the school had no right to question anything he did after school hours.

It was the school’s opinion, and ours as well, that as a student of that school, he was a representative of the school even outside of school hours.

I believe that Lower Merion School District was trying to prevent their students from putting the school in a bad light. They deliberately employed the use of the webcams to do accomplish that goal, and then they tried to cover it up by saying they were trying to locate stolen laptops. They probably assumed the average person would be clueless enough to believe them.

In whatever role we play, we represent others as well as ourselves. We represent our parents, our children, our employers, or even our home city. Over the centuries people have been sensitive to criticism from others that tarnish our “good name”. People do care whether they admit it or not, what others say about them and it’s very important that they are accepted. Young teens are very sensitive to how the world views them and always looking for approval of their peers. It subsides a little when we mature, but not by much, in my opinion.
Is there a line crossed or not? That is a difficult question to answer. I think the school definitely went over the line in the manner in which they tried to save their reputation. Ironically, their actions to maintain their status have caused the biggest stain on their name ever.

Valentine's Day Cards

Today I had to get my driver's license picture renewed, and right next to the license center is the dollar store. I figured since I was there, I might as well pick up some things. At the front of the store was the Valentine's section, which of course is put there to remind us folks that the next big holiday is coming up and you better partake of the commercial celebration before you lose your chance. I thought why not. So I picked up some chocolates and then went to the card aisle to get an appropriate card for my husband and son. I had no problem picking out the one for my husband, but my son was another story.

Too bad they don't make cards with the sentiment on it that people really want to get. Something like "Son, you are a total f*&%up, but I still love you, so Happy Valentine's Day." Or perhaps "You're 30 years old. Hope this Valentine's Day you find someone wonderful so you will leave my house, and I don't have to support you any longer." Or how about "Get a job so you can take ME out to dinner. Happy Valentine's Day!" Instead they have cards that make reference to a "Wonderful Son" who is so thoughtful and a joy to be around. Obviously not cards that are marketed toward the parents of a rebellious, hell-raising, teen-aged boy who is currently the bane of my existence, and who is at this moment in time makes me question why I ever had a kid.  I ended up getting him a generic card that had practically no sentiment on it.  I know in my heart that things will get better, but right now I wish he was someone else's kid.

Hair

I just started reading a book called Going Grey by Anne Kreamer. It is a wonderfully written, witty account of a woman who has decided to stop dying her hair and go naturally grey. I, like her, decided some time ago to not only stop dying my hair but stopping cutting it as well. Unlike her my hair was not so grey as hers apparently was and I didn't have a year of bad grey while my roots grew in. As I said I decided to stop cutting it too. At first I firmly planned to let it get to a certain length and then donate my hair to Locks of Love. They take hair that is a minimum of 10 inches long, so the plan was to let it get to that length plus the shoulder length that it was at the time I make this decision.


It is now at the middle of my back and I feel thrust back to my high school years when my hair was close to being waist length. Now I vacillate between donating my hair and keeping it long and flowing. I hadn't fully convinced myself that at 55, long hair is not something that most women do. But I hate short hair and I hate having to go to my stylist whenever the style, whatever it is supposed to be, gets unruly and drives me crazy. Having it long is just so easy. I mean really, who am I trying to impress? I am a middle aged woman, married with a child. I am not trying to find the love of my life or catch the eye of the most desirable man around. At this point in my life I am working to impress people with my brain, not my looks.

Then today I came across a passage in the book where she sees a 70 year old woman, fit and beautiful sunbathing nude on a beach at Martha's Vineyard with long flowing white hair who becomes a model of what the author is trying to accomplish. It set my mind that I am not just growing my hair to donate it. I may never donate it...besides they don't take grey hair, but I may grow it out forever until it reaches the floor like my paternal grandmother. I seriously thing that when I saw her wedding picture as a child, I subconsciously decided that I would forever have long hair. That could be why every time I have cut it shorter than shoulder length I got panicky and uncomfortable. I even went to the trouble of making my mother buy me a fall (a half wig) when my hair was cut ridiculously short when I was a young teen. I came home in absolute tears refusing to come out of my room until my mother apologized for taking me to the hairdresser and bring back the fall so I wouldn't appear in public with the absence of hair. Such trauma!

Snap!

I have been using the rubber band negative reinforcement technique to help stop me from biting my cuticles and it has been working fairly well. Whenever I find myself putting my fingers in my mouth I "punish" myself by snapping the band on my wrist. I have gotten to the point that I now recognize that I am about to starting biting and stop myself. I hope that I will eventually stop even before I put my hand near my mouth.


Habits are really hard to break. One has to change their entire way of thinking and deviate from a comfortable, normal-feeling activity, to another one that is outside our comfort zone. It takes time, effort, and thought. I have heard that it takes the average human about 2 weeks to develop a new habit and 90 days to break one, so I am giving myself a little time. I know that when I started riding my bicycle for exercise, after a few weeks, it was engrained in my daily routine and I didn't even think twice about it and it felt odd when I wasn't able to do it.

The Rubber Band

The other day I had an argument with a co-worker. For some reason this particular person never understands what I have to say. I know it's not me, because other people understand me with no difficulties and I wonder if this person just likes to argue. There are people in the world like that - they pick fights all the time.


I often wonder about those people. Are they trying to be difficult because by being that way they are getting attention, or is it because they just want to fight? Why would anyone just want to fight? Personally, I try to avoid confrontations for the most part. I won't agree just to agree, but I try not to enter into disagreements with people because it's just not worth it to me; it's a waste of time and resources and I don't like to be in a bad mood.

A friend of mine suggested using a rubber band around my wrist that I snap whenever I want to stop a negative habit. I tried it last night because I am trying to stop this nasty habit of tearing the skin around my fingernails. It helped somewhat, but I went to bed with red welts all over my wrist. Maybe I was a little too harsh on myself, but it helped. I have to remember to wear the band until the habit stops. Anyway, the premise is that eventually you associate your habit with pain - negative reinforcement - and train your brain to stop the habit. He tried it with smoking, but it didn't work as well for him as the new drug, Chantix.

Unfortunately, I can't snap a rubber band on my co-worker.

Teens and Smoking

The other day my son announced to my husband and I that he is not longer going to smoke cigarettes. I didn't believe him, but I was hopeful none the less. I don't understand how he can do it any way even after we have tried over and over to tell him how bad it is for him. I thought he was smarter than that. Even after he saw my stepfather, a man who was very important in my son's life, died of lung cancer because of smoking, you would think he might think it was not a good thing to do.


So I waited a little. Turned out I didn't have to wait all that long because within a few days he was back to smoking again. He even bought cigarettes for his friends for Christmas. I called them his "presents of death" and made fun of him while he was giving them out. I guess since all his friends smoke he isn't going to quit until they do. I remember it was hard for me to quit when my friends smoked.

Even the other day I got into his car and it reeked so I had to drive with the windows open. Here it is 20 degree weather and I am riding around with the windows rolled all the way down. I went back in to the house when I got back and put on a rough sounding voice to exaggerate how much it bothered my asthma. It really wasn't that bad, but I wanted to make a big deal about it none the less. It didn't really phase him.

I am just hoping and praying that he gets the message soon that smoking is NOT cool and he should quit.

Layered Tortilla Stack

The other night I made another throw together concoction that my husband raved about. He insisted I even take a picture of it and write the recipe up and post it on my FaceBook. I can't believe what a fuss me made about the dish, but he used his favorite phrases, "killer" and "gut bomb" when describing it licking his lips the whole time.
I had remembered a recipe some time back where you used tortillas in the place of lasagna noodles and there was some mixture close to taco seasoning for ground beef. While we are trying to stay away from beef as much as possible I started with a chopped yellow onion and then browned a pound of ground turkey. I went to the cupboard to find out what else I could throw in there and I found a jar of black beans, a can of chopped jalapenos, and a can of enchilada sauce. In the 'fridge I found some shredded cheese and tortillas and started cooking away.

I tried to spice the turkey with seasonings that were similar to tacos so of course chili powder and cumin were a must. I added those spices to taste.  To that I added garlic powder, ancho power, and cayenne pepper. I added a little cinnamon too as I have used that in chili recipe in the past. I dumped in the beans after rinsing them, enchilada sauce and the chopped jalapenos.  After cooking it and adjusting for the spices, I layered it with cheese between medium tortillas in a casserole dish. On went aluminium foil and popped it into a 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes until the cheese melted. Since we were on the taco idea here, I chopped up some lettuce and put sour cream and salsa on the top when served.

It's always a relief when something turns out well.