Friday, May 13, 2011

Killer Son

The first thing I remember knowing,
Was a lonesome whistle blowing,
And a young un's dream of growing up to ride;
On a freight train leaving town,
Not knowing where I'm bound,
No-one could change my mind but Mama tried.
One and only rebel child,
From a family, meek and mild:
My Mama seemed to know what lay in store.
Despite all my Sunday learning,
Towards the bad, I kept on turning.
'Til Mama couldn't hold me anymore.

And I turned twenty-one in prison doing life without parole.
No-one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried.
Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading, I denied.
That leaves only me to blame 'cos Mama tried.

Dear old Daddy, rest his soul,
Left my Mom a heavy load;
She tried so very hard to fill his shoes.
Working hours without rest,
Wanted me to have the best.
She tried to raise me right but I refused.

And I turned twenty-one in prison doing life without parole.
No-one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried.
Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading, I denied.
That leaves only me to blame 'cos Mama tried.

I heard the song, Mama Tried sung by Merl Haggard the other day and it reminded me of the horrific fate of young Skyler Kauffman who was brutally raped and murdered in Souderton, PA a while back. When I heard the news of that crime, my heart went out to her family. It was a tragic story.

An article appeared on the NBC New website shortly after the crime talking about the case and the memorial that has been built for the young girl and the man who was arrested for her murder. In this coverage, the news station attempted to interview the parents of the young man. The news people were rebuked rather harshly by the mother and father as they walked down the street. Why did they try to interview the parents? I am sure they are going through as much pain as the victim’s family, but in a different way. I am sure they are wracked with guilt over what their son did.

Parents are often blamed for the actions of the children, and when they are young that argument can hold water. However, when the children are grown and out of the house on their own, there has to be a certain amount of blamelessness given to the parents. Children are sometimes immune to the good teachings that parents give them. Blame should not be placed on the parent's shoulders for the actions of their offspring, and they should not be hounded by the press.

Dr. Norman Hoffman’s wrote a book on the Uncaring Child Syndrome entitled Bad Children Can Happen to Good Parents. In it he mentions that sadly the actions of the mentally ill are hidden. Very often no one can tell if a child is going to grow up to be a sociopath, and unless you know about this syndrome you simply see a child who exhibits a strong will. Often they are given the diagnosis of ADHD, dyslexia, or even given medication to calm their wild ways. But once the grown child is out of the parent's watchful eye the young adult is on their own and their actions become their responsibility. Whether the parents of the man accused of this crime were good or bad parents, this young man could have been an anti-social person from the beginning and has no conscience, empathy, nor have the ability to experience any real guilt of remorse for his actions. His parents may not be the reason he did why he did and should not be blamed for his crime. He alone is culpable for that.

No comments:

Post a Comment