Fears

Last night I kind of overdid it. I went for my usual workout at lunch, which consists of doing the elliptical machine for 30 minutes and then light weights for the arms. Then when I came home I did a strenuous bike ride featuring hill climbs for about an hour. Then I left and went rock climbing with people from work for 2 hours at a rock climbing gym. Today I am not as sore as I thought I would be.

The rock climbing event was a work thing and I am pretty much game to try anything. I must confess that I thought I would be able to overcome my fear of heights by doing this. I was not. I got up about half way on the first try and starting shaking so much I had to come down. I went up again on the second try and got a little further but still starting shaking so much I didn’t think I was going to be able to hold on to the hand holds. It was the same with the third time. Even though I was on a rope with a very strong guy (and a rather handsome, rugged-looking, one at that), I wasn’t able to overcome the shaking. By the end of the session I was so tired, either from the earlier exercise or from the climbing I didn’t try any more.

I don’t remember being this scared when I was younger. I remember we had a rope in our backyard tied to a tree on a very high branch and I was able to scramble up that thing with no problem. I wanted to try skydiving when I was a teen (never did), and flying never bothered me. Why do heights bother me now? And speaking of flying, our family trips are a never ending source of amusement for my family. I got so scared one time the airline attendant gave me wine to calm me down because I was scaring the other passengers. Perhaps fears get worse as you get older – and maybe wiser understanding the consequences of the action. Oh well.