Competition

I am a competitive person.  I am not so competitive that I have to win at all costs, not like my brother whose competitive nature launched many a childhood fight.  Maybe it is because he is my younger brother and felt he had to beat me at every game we played, but playing a game like Monopoly was a cut throat sport with him and not much fun.  I will not do things that are immoral or dishonest to win at something – I am not that person.  But I have been known to work to beat others at things such as sports or work achievements.

So it kind of surprised me that my love of cycling was impacted by my competitive nature.  I found this out because I have been wondering why over the last three years that my husband and I have been cycling that I have been slowly losing enthusiasm for the sport. At first I was thinking it was just plain boredom, but the other day I realized that it is because I just want to beat my husband at something.  In the beginning I was the stronger, faster rider.  Now he is and I know I cannot beat him any longer so I have given up and I don’t push myself.

It was an interesting discovery. I believe husbands and wives play these little games with each other because they can fight the battle of the sexes in a comfortable setting.  They don’t verbalize this with each other, or maybe they don’t even realize it, but I think that competitive feelings can cause a great deal of conflict in some marriages.  There are plenty of things that I am better at but instead of being happy with those things I have feel that I have to compete and be better at everything.  Is my competitive nature increasing with age, or do I need to compete with him to improve my self-image?  Oh well, another mystery to figure out.